A true account of a mysterious burger

There have been reports of Big Foot activities near Darrington, Stanwood, Skykomish and Poodle Dog Pass.
By John Owen | Nov 29, 2012

To my recollection I have never seen, heard or tracked a sasquatch, so I have never posted an internet report to the Big Foot Researchers Organization.

According to their web site, BFRO  members are dedicated to finding the truth behind the Bigfoot legend and  to look for connections with fellow enthusiasts around the country including those residing  in the NW Washington area. All comments are welcome.

If you wish to report a sighting or other anomalies related to the Big Guy contact the BFRO web site and somebody will get right back to you. "Tell your story!" the spokesman for the organization urges.

A lot of Snohomish County relatives have contacted that organization’s web site with eyewitness accounts as late as Oct. 30 of 2012.

One witness heard strange calls at a swamp near Wallace Falls. Another smelled a foul odor and spotted a shadowy figure near Gold Bar.  A third heard screams and came upon a giant footprint. A man and son say they saw a hairy figure tearing apart an animal carcass.  Their dog whimpered and retreated at the smell.

There have been reports of Big Foot activities near Darrington, Stanwood, Skykomish and Poodle Dog Pass.

Officers of the Big Foot Researchers Organization would no doubt be dumbfounded by my report.  I have never seen Big Foot. But I have cooked and eaten a Sasquatch Steak. It smelled fine and tasted pretty good if I do say so myself.

My recipe appeared in the First Intermediate Eater cookbook and I gave it that name to add a bit of mystique to what is really a couple of  jazzed up  ground beef patties.


Sasquatch Steak


Sauté a scant cup of onion for a minute or two. Add a minced clove garlic and cook 30 seconds more. Plop the onion mixture into a bowl and add:


1 1/2 pounds ground chuck

1 1/2 teaspoon salt

good pinch of thyme

2 tablespoons soft butter

a grinding of black pepper

1 egg


Maul ingredients in bowl until thoroughly mixed then form into four patties.  Coat with flour then  sauté in two tablespoons butter until done. Keep the patties in a warm oven while you mess up some more pans.

Boil a mixture  of 1/2 cup beef bouillon and 2/3 cup red wine in a small saucepan.

Pour the fat out of the frying pan and toss in two tablespoons of minced green onion.  Add the bouillon-wine mixture  to the frying pan and boil rapidly, scraping the bottom of the pan with a wooden spoon.

When the mixture has boiled down to a half cup remove from the heat and stir in one teaspoon cornstarch mixed with one teaspoon water. Return to heat and simmer one minute.  Add salt and pepper and pour the sauce over the meat patties.

Serve with a side salad and maybe a bowl of:


Poodle Dog Parmesan Rice


Peel and chop one onion and sauté in 1/4 cup butter.  When soft and golden stir in one cup of white rice.  (No! No!  Not minute rice.) Stir cook until it begins to turn golden.

Pour in one cup chicken broth, one cup water and 1/4 cup sherry.

Bring to a boil, cover pan,  reduce heat and simmer 25 minutes.

Reduce pan from heat and stir in 1/2 cup grated parmesan cheese and two tablespoons butter.

Since you used less than a cup of red wine in the steak recipe, chances are there still might be a slug still remaining in the jug.

BRZFLECK!  (That's Sasquatch for "Skoal!")



Comments (0)
If you wish to comment, please login.