The Twinkie substitute

In our neighborhood we were never known as "The Modern Family."
By John Owen | Dec 06, 2012

Despite an accident of birth I am not now nor have I ever been known by the nickname of "Twinkie."  And nobody has called me "Ding Dong" to my face.

Granted my mother might have considered that an accurate appellation because she often noted that whenever I came home from elementary school in Montana I uttered the same phrase.

No, I did not inquire about her health or whether she had enjoyed a particularly rewarding day.

Before the front door slammed I invariably shouted the same greeting phrased as a question.  "What's for dessert?"

Never once was she at a loss an answer.  Yet never once did she reply, "I bought some Twinkies."  She did not buy desserts, she created them.

Oh, I know.  Archie Bunker, Howdy Doody and a host of other television characters supposedly lived on Hostess Twinkies, which were first marketed in the year of my birth.  But in our neighborhood we were never known as "The Modern Family."  We were thrifty but well fed.

OK, I guess Bill Clinton might also be described as well fed.  And the ex-president  and members of Congress created a millennium time capsule in the year 2000.

Contents included a slab of stone from the Berlin Wall… and a Twinkie.  Time will tell which will survive the millennium. However I am not exactly convinced Clinton did not deposit that Twinkie into a personal vault alongside a few Big Mac buns.

Maybe the demise of the Twinkie is no laughing matter in your household.  If you or your siblings are desperate for sweet treats you should know that when I checked the Twinkie site on Google I encountered a few different recipes for homemade substitutes.

You and the members of your family would be better rewarded by creating one of my mother's favorite desserts.

She was a Scottish lady and in that land the question asked when the screen door slammed was "What's for pud?"  The answer often was:

 

MacMillan Cottage Pudding

 

1 3/4 cups sifted flour

2 teaspoons baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/4 cup soft butter

1/4 cup sugar

1 large egg

1/4 cup milk

1 teaspoon vanilla

 

Sift together the flour, baking powder and salt.  Add the other ingredients and beat until smooth.  Pour into a nine-inch square pan that has been greased and  dusted with flour.

Bake into a 350 oven for 30 minutes or until done.  Serve with:

 

Scottish Sauce

 

1 cup sugar

2 tablespoons cornstarch

2 cups boiling water

2 tablespoons butter

2 teaspoons vanilla

1/2 teaspoon nutmeg

 

Mix the sugar and cornstarch together in a saucepan. Gradually stir in hot water.  Boil one minute, stirring.  Then stir in the butter, vanilla and nutmeg.

Dish up the cottage pudding in squares.  Pour sauce over the top and then holler at the top of your lungs:

THE PUD IS READY!!!

 

 

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