Tasty cod in Copalis, but no glass balls
Well, I'm certainly sorry. But it is the role of journalists to disclose the immorality, injustice and inhumanity of our time and civilization. So, much as it pains me, truth demands an expose of The Great Northwest Coast glass ball swindle and tourist hustle. Ergo, "There are no glass balls from Japan."
There! It's out! Would somebody please notify the Pulitzer Prize nominating committee.
I know, it may deal a severe blow to our tourist industry. Our beaches may soon be deserted. Ocean Shores may soon revert to the sand fleas. Instead of sharks in the surf, we are threatened by fictional floats.
Have you ever looked for glass balls on the beach? Have you ever found a glass ball on the beach? Do you know or have you ever known somebody who discovered a glass ball on the beach? Neither have I.
Ergo, there are no glass balls on the beach, tourist propaganda notwithstanding. Postcards peddled at tourist traps showing great gobs of glass balls represent trick photography similar to those showing the fur-bearing trout of Montana or the Pismo Beach mermaid with phony silver fins.
Yet this was supposed to be a bumper year for glass balls from Japan, and I'll tell you why. Several years ago, Japanese fishermen discovered that plastic floats were cheaper than glass balls and equally efficient. So these commercial fishermen discarded their glass balls into beds of sea grass surrounding marinas.
And that's where they rested awaiting some natural phenomenon. That took place in the form of Japan's 2011 earthquake and tsunami. It was predicted that high tides created by this phenomenon would sweep up thousands of glass balls, which had been resting in the beach grasses.
And it was predicted that residents of West Coast U.S. beach communities would reap this floating harvest. It was supposed to happen this most recent winter.
An article in the October-December issue of a Beachcombers' Alert newsletter predicted that glass ball hunters on shorelines in Washington, Oregon and northern California would reap a bonanza "potentially including glass balls worth thousands of dollars."
I'd sell you my glass balls from frequent excursions to points north and south of Cannon Beach, Ore. for, oh, about 73 cents. Except that I haven't found any glass balls on the beach. Not one. Zilch!
Well, even the expectation of such an adventure might work up your appetite, and your thirst.
Guess what! On my Great Beach Hunt I discovered the following recipes.
1 clove garlic
1/2 cup soy sauce
1/4 cup sugar
1/8 cup cooking oil
1/4 cup dry white wine
1/8 teaspoon ground ginger
1 1/2 pounds cod fillets
1 tablespoon sesame seeds
Mince the garlic and add to the soy, sugar, oil, white wine and ginger. Let the cod do the backstroke in this sludge for an hour or more.
Cover the bottom of an oven pan with foil, arrange the fish fillets on top and then broil five inches from the heat for four minutes, basting once with the soy marinade. Flip the fish, brush again with the marinade, sprinkle with sesame seeds and broil three minutes or more, until the fish flakes with a fork.
You might precede the meal with glasses of :
1 cup brandy
1/2 sliced lemon
1/2 sliced orange
1 can frozen limeade
1 fifth red wine
1 pint club soda
Pour the brandy over the fruit and let it sit while you were preparing the fish.
Add the limeade, the wine and soda, and serve over lots of ice.